The Ultimate Gym Don’ts


I have a love/hate relationship with the gym like many people do. I’m not trying to become Mr Universe and nobody would ever mistaken me for a “meathead” but I go to the gym and exercise enough where there is a a lot of things surrounding the gym that piss me off to no end. 

1) If you take a “Seflie” at the gym, your going to end up in an interment camp when I eventually control this planet. I cannot stand people taking photos at the gym. Who do you need to prove you were at the gym to or are you so narcissistic that you just like to always have pictures of yourself at the gym to prove to chicks/dudes that you work out? This brings me to point 2.

2) Nobody on social media cares if you are: A) at the gym to begin with B) going for a second time today or C) still going strong on your new years resolution. If your trying to guilt me out of taking a second nap or having the other half of my candy bar, a Facebook post or Tweet is not going to do it. The only thing Social Media is for is getting news via twitter and keeping contact with people you went to middle school with. If your contact with me is constantly informing me on how long your last run was, defriend me.

3)When at the gym, if you see a person working out alone with head phones in, unless that person is bleeding from their eyeballs, it is socially unacceptable to go up and talk to them. Happens to me all the time. Here in Spain its even worse seeing as I speak little spanish and certainly do not know the spanish gym vocab. The only thing you should hear at the gym is heavy metal or house music blaring in your ears, not some dude saying “hey mind if I jump in and grab a set or 3 real quick?” I may say yes because my parents taught me civility but I am fantasizing about what would happen to you in a Thai prison at the same time.  

4) If you are working out with a buddy, treat it like the golf course. Keep your head down, power through the set and move quickly to the next. A month ago there was a group of FIVE people working out on one piece of equipment. That is unreal. Working out in partners I encourage and prefer it to working out alone but FIVE people is executable. 

5) Similar to 3 but the gym is not the place to socialize like your at the bar. Don’t just talk to friends or otherwise when people may or may not be waiting to grab that squat rack. I like to spend as little time as I can at the gym and sure as hell hate seeing people I am acquaintances with. I’m not saying ignore someone in your crew if they happen to be at the gym, I’m talking about those fringe people that you only see maybe once a year at a party. The second I enter a gym I’m thinking just bust out this workout as fast as possible so you can get back to relaxing. 

6) Wearing a hat to the gym is confusing. Why would you want to wear a hat. I am a huge hat guy and the last thing I want to do is ruin a perfectly good hat with all sorts of sweat (if your not sweating at the gym then why even pay for a membership.). Hats would just get in the way too. Little functionality into wearing hats at the gym. I despise it for no reason. 

Moral of the story. Do not make eye contact with anyone at the gym. Sweat as much as possible. Do not post anything on social media about going to the gym. Just go and get it over with. At the end of the day, you workout for yourself, not anyone else no one cares about how many reps of 225 you do because if your working out at a local gym, that stat will never matter in your whole entire life. 


Sidenote: If you take a selfie for any reason other than sending a weird snapchat to your dudes then you are either a chick or have self esteem issues. 


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